Pumpkin Spice Latte is mad at Mommy for graduating college- so she pulled my sash off of my gown and into her litter box and pooped on it.

I am a grumpy old boy at times.
I like biting my humans in spots that cause maximum pain
I like eating cream cheese off the spoon
I DISLIKE getting tablets shoved down my throat every day.
I DISLIKE bowling balls.

She doesn’t want her owner to like pet shaming so that she can’t be shamed.

Hi my name is Oliver the shit head! I like claw my owner’s back, legs, and neck, and I pee and puke everywhere on. But he still loves!

My name is Gallifrey. I tried to play bed mouse last night. It turned out to be Mom’s foot. When I bit her really hard she screamed and threw her foot out. Unfortunately she caught me in the move and I went flying off the bed and over the side…right on top of the big dog that doesn’t like me. I had to run for my life. I hid in the living room most of the night. I was able to sneak back in and sleep next to Mom about 2 in the morning.

Bubba here is a huge cat. Just enormous. He sometimes has trouble reaching his hind end for cleaning purposes. So now, he has stopped trying. Stanky Cat Butt is the result of this lack of effort on his part. Blarf. He now receives bi-weekly butt baths.

Unbeknown to us, Chewie here had pretty much ripped the frame away from a door on the one side. It was a room we used for storage so we never noticed it until we were moving out. Terrible.

No playoff game is safe, I am determined to always be the center of attention. Oh #hatedaddy

Every time I get to the final boss…