My name is Zeus and my list of crimes entail:
Chasing my elderly neighbors down the street, eating my human brother’s dirty diapers, running away (while mommy is having a baby) and going to “visit” the neighbor’s horses, chasing kids on bikes, shredding every tissue I can get my paws on, peeing in my mommy’s center console in the car, rolling in deer/raccoon/other dog’s poop and then rushing to mommy’s bed to roll around, and much much more. I also leap on my mommy’s boyfriend and tag him in the private’s with my paws!