I am Alfie labradoodle I ate the Christmas gammon joint my mum spent 4 hrs cooking!!!!!

“I ate my Christmas presents when my mom left the house for TEN MINUTES.”

(The presents have been under the tree and left untouched for almost a week!)

I ruined Christmas . Like the TSA, I unwrapped all the gifts searching for harmful items. Now everyone knows what Santa brought.

It’s a good thing I’m so cute!

Penelope may look adorably innocent, but has killed a (fake) puppy, pooped on my patio table and begs for belly rubs all day, every day!

Goldie “My mom loves me so much that she sewed my teddy bear back together. ” “I love my teddy bear so much … that I ripped him a new one and spread his ashes, I mean his stuffings, all over the floor.” Time of death …60 seconds after sewn back up.

Our sweet Bentlie had to have 1 1/2 feet of his intestines removed due to the obstruction. He is one expensive puppy.

I chewed the remote and discovered that batteries taste tingly…

Duke has a bad habit of pulling stuffing out of comforters and pillows and then sleeping in the wreckage.