I ate the Abominable Snowman and Yukon Cornelius is still missing.

I bark for no reason, very loudly, to scare the cat
I poop when I’m scared…

Where are all the socks?!?

Mara -my husky- got into the wrapped Christmas presents. I guess she thought the soap & lotion smelled delicious.

My name is Sam and I am 4 years old. Not a puppy but I act like one.
In the last month I have eaten a 300.00 rug, broken a 110 year old window,the front door is boarded up so I don’t go through it when the mailman comes, ate part of the skirt on the sofa,ate my dad’s earphones, one of mom’s shoes, multiple magazines, I counter surf and eat anything on the counter. I’ve chewed a 100 foot extension cord up into many pieces, a garden hose, the drains that attach to the downspout. I also eat frozen poop but only if it is frozen. I climb the 5 foot fence to chase squirrels. I bite the fence and try to pull it down when other dogs go by.
I should be in the Hall of Fame for Shamemypet.com

My name is poppy and on Christmas day when my mummy and family weren’t looking I managed to run outside with a full 5 bird roast and eat it, string and all. I then couldn’t move for 3 hours and had to be physically moved about.

Dear Santa,
I’m sorry for eating the plants, Mommy’s operative report, 3 phone chargers, Daddy’s money order. It is so hard to be good all the time but I promise I will try really really hard. Please put me back on the nice list because I really want some new squeaky toys.
Love Sawyer