Mom went out and bought this really tall cat tree for me. She struggled to get it out of her Jeep and into the house all by herself just for me but I don’t care. I hate the thing and I refuse to climb it.

My human took me to the groomer for my fur-cut. I am such a brute that I tore the cone off my head and bit the groomer. All she could get done was shaving my back. I am banished forever from the groomer and have to live with this humiliating fur-cut as a consequence of my brutality. Max.

I stole some cheesecake and then pooped it up the wall!

My mom was painting the porch today and apparently Ellie got into the paint before it dried and made a mess in the house. Mother was not amused. Ergo the pet shaming. We are still finding little paint marks in the house!

I pooped in the desktop mini Zen garden…..not so Zen anymore.

Pumpkin Spice Latte is mad at Mommy for graduating college- so she pulled my sash off of my gown and into her litter box and pooped on it.

I am a grumpy old boy at times.
I like biting my humans in spots that cause maximum pain
I like eating cream cheese off the spoon
I DISLIKE getting tablets shoved down my throat every day.
I DISLIKE bowling balls.